ANGER – THE SNAKE IN DISGUISE

This article of mine explains ANGER, an emotion which all of us have experienced at least more than once in our lives ,and how it negatively impacts on our level of happiness.

What is anger?

According to the on line dictionary, “it is a strong feeling of annoyance , displeasure or hostility”. We are quite accustomed to being angry with people or things when they are not in line with our desires. More often than not, anger is sparked off by an external stimuli , known as provocation or a trigger.

Angry Cat

Why do people get angry?

People could get angry for many reasons. Just to name a few:

 

  1. When things do not happen according to what was planned.
  2. When a blow is dealt to their fragile ego.
  3. When their basic rights are infringed.
  4. When they lack self-control in the face of adversity.
  5. When their contribution is being undervalued or belittled.
  6. When someone deceives you with a pack of lies.

The above list is not exhaustive.

The downside of anger – its repercussions

“To be angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”-Lord Buddha

  1. Anger is a dangerous emotion which can be harmful to one’s own body. It increases blood-pressure which in turn could lead to heart disease or a stroke which might leave you paralyzed.
  2. Anger can permanently disable the central nerve system in the human body .
  3. Anger could sour healthy relationships.
  4. Anger in its extreme form could bring situations which could cause a lifetime of regret through actions such as murder, destruction of property etc, for which one may have to languish in jail, sometimes for the rest of their lives.

Once again, the list is not exhaustive.

How can we control anger? - solution.

how not to be

Anger management now has become a lucrative business where they teach you techniques to curb  this emotion in return for a fee. However, I would like to elaborate on a few methods which I have learnt through my own experience as well as the experiences of others.

  1. Since anger is a strong and a destructive emotion, first step is you should be aware of your emotions when they arise. The simple answer is that you should be mindful of your bodily movements. When your temper rises due to provocation , you should silently tell yourself  to calm down. When you do this consciously as a reaction to your own emotion of anger, it automatically nullifies the outcome and hence the outburst will be controlled at least to some extent.
  
  1. Another method to control your anger is to silently count from 1 to 10 or still better from 10 to 1 before you respond. When your anger is delayed in this manner its strength diminishes to some extent.
  2.  
  3. When you are in a neutral mood just reflect on the damage that the anger could do to your body. There have been instances where blood vessels have burst and left people paralyzed for the rest of their lives because of anger.
  
  1. Minimize expectations from others and from life in general. This does not mean that you should not have a zest for life and hence drive yourselves towards  achieving your dreams and goals. Yet you need to tell yourself that just like you, the other human beings are also imperfect .You need to understand that expectations do not always materialize. After all every rule has its exceptions.
   
  1. When you are in a neutral mood, simulate situations which could make you angry and consciously watch the emotion of anger rising inside your body, just like a snake raising its head to sting its prey, and try to divert your attention elsewhere. When you practice such tactics over a period, your mind will learn to automatically divert it when your temper rises in reality.
 
  1. Think of the consequences which you might have to face if you respond in a destructive manner. There are good people spending their prime time in prisons around the world simply because of one harmful act(crime) they have committed out of ill-will or anger such as assaulting a fellow human being or in extreme cases, even murder.
 
  1. Relive your stress and bottled up emotions on a daily basis. Exercise or punch a pillow until you are tired and exhausted. Physical exercises, will make you better and rid yourself of negative emotions.
   
  1. You may have a healthy relationship with someone but due to one word uttered by you in anger, such relationships could be soured for life as words can be like arrows that pierce through the heart.
 
  1. When you are angry, tell yourself silently, I will not react in haste, instead I will strategize and attack the source which provoke my anger later, although in actual practice you will not do so. In other words try to justify to yourself the value of procrastination of your response, when you are angry.
 
  1. Consciously stay away from people, situations and things that may cause you to get angry. Avoidance could be a good mechanism, when the other things above do not work.
 
  1. If people know that you are prone to get angry and throw tantrums, they could use such knowledge to test your temper and ridicule you in society. You will end up losing your reputation and public image, which you have built up over the years painstakingly.
 
  1. Whenever you have spare time, spend that time with nature. eg: take a walk in the park or the beach, watch the sunset, watch the moonrise over the clouds, observe and feel the wind in the trees. This type of exposure will quieten your mind and give you a feeling of elation devoid of any reason. If you live in a concrete jungle and have no access to these treasures of nature that are being dispensed free of charge, google these topics on internet and watch the clips on nature. When your system is calm and you are feeling upbeat in a general sense for no apparent reason, the chances of you getting angry/flying off the handle will reduce over a period of time.
 
  1. Controlling anger is a two-fold exercise. That is first you need to control the outward manifestations of anger such as the urge to scream, fume or attack. Once you train yourself to do this, the next step is to curtail the emotion in your internal self. The latter is the harder part.The best way to do it is to practice the virtue of detachment where you learn to look at life as an observer standing by and watching your own thoughts, feelings an actions and not get involved with them as the actor.

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Given below is an excerpt from” anger-stories for preaching” website.

Nails in the Fence

Anger is an emotion which will cause your  nerves to strain,

It will only give you much pain without any gain.

You will make enemies and lose your friends all  in vain,

Next time when you are angry , please act with restraint .

- Written by Sharanga-

2 comments

Great content! Super high-quality! Keep it up! 🙂

Don’t ask what others have done for you, but ask what you have done for others

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