How to be Happy? : Learn How to Regain Your Happiness.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

Growing up over the years, I have seen some people to be happier than others. However, by default, we have accustomed ourselves to believe that those people who wear a smile most of the time and the ones who scream in excitement are “happier” than those who are calm, quiet and passive and the ones who do not display their emotions.

Ever since, I was a teenager, I have been talking people of all walks of life on what makes them happy. The common answers have been, examination success, winning a lottery, getting married, having children and securing their   dream job so on and so forth. It is true that these things bring about a sense of happiness. Yet the happiness attained so is short lived.

Hence, through the research which I have done in my own way and in my own free time, I have come to the realization that happiness is nothing but a state of mind. The external circumstances are only stimuli. The true happiness lies deep down within yourself.

HOW DO WE ATTAIN HAPPINESS?

In my candid opinion, I firmly believe that if one lives by the five golden rules mentioned below, they can attain a high degree of Lasting happiness.

1. Live in the present moment.

Many of us spend our waking life, either regretting about past events and incidents or being anxious about a future event, which may or may not occur. In effect, what fail to realize is that:

“No amount of regret can change the past and no amount of worry can change the future”

-Lord Buddha.

This invariably says that if you want to be devoid of regret and worry, you should be in the present. ( I will elaborate further on this matter in one of my future articles).

2. Never compare yourself with another.

How to be Happy - Do not Compare Yourself

When our life’s circumstances are unfavorable, many of us secretly hope if we   could be like someone else whose circumstances in life are seemingly better than that of ours.  What we do not realize is that no matter how much we try we will only have limited knowledge about another person’s life. At face value he/she may be more privileged than you are, but could be suffering in silence, which you will never know. I am not saying that you should not believe what you see ( your  eyes cannot be lying) .But there is much more to life than what meets the eye. In fact, there are times when your eyes may deceive you. Think of the two situations below.

When you travel on a stretch of road on an extremely warm day, you will see images of water in the far distance (this is known as the “mirage” in a desert) .When you actually approach the distant place, you will realize that there is no water in reality.

When you stand on a railway line and look at the far distance you will see that the two railway lines are joining together when in actual fact they never do.

The two classic examples above are instances in which your own eyes can deceive you. Then how can you be sure that the other person’s life is better than yours, based only on what you see from the outside?

Furthermore, each of us has   a unique DNA structure. In our own hands, the five fingers are of five different sizes. Besides, No two people have the same thumb impression. Then how can we compare two individuals?? , meaning,  comparing two individuals is like comparing apples with oranges is it not?.

3. Be happy with what you are but strive to be better each day.

The most important lesson in life is to be Happy with what you are in your current state.

“Count your blessings and not your troubles” is the first step towards creating a happy future.

The old adage says:

“I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet”.

On the other hand, if you are dizzy with contentment in a foolish manner, then you will never progress in life from where you are now. Then what does the statement “  be happy with what you are” really means?.

Well in my opinion, happiness is like the floors/levels in a building. Currently, you may be on level 1. The idea is to be content/happy with level 1 for the time being, but strive to climb up to the next level, meaning, the level 2 within a time period and then to level 3 and so on.

4. Expect life to be a little less than perfect

How to Be Happy - Expect life to be a little less than perfect

There are times in life, no matter how hard you try, you do not succeed. Sometimes, when you have planned out everything so well but something unexpected goes wrong spoiling   your entire plan. Look at the two examples below:

You are at your wedding. The band is playing on with music so pleasing to all guests All of   the guests have arrived as planned, on time and the food is delicious. However, most unexpectedly your best man arrives fifteen minutes late as he has been held up by a traffic jam due to the closure of one access road to the location. How would you feel?

Your friend is very health conscious and consumes a healthy -diet and does regular physical exercises and takes medication on time. In fact he is an epitome of good health. However, the most recent medical tests have shown that he has symptoms of a developing cancer. How would you feel?

In life, there are no guarantees. Nothing can be taken for granted. Therefore, although you may try for perfection, you need to be happy if you attain excellence, meaning 99%. There is always a margin of error of at least 1% in every situation in life. If you take cognizance of this fact, you will have the power to handle  any  disappointment.

5. Know what you want with needle point precision, and go for it.

How to Be Happy - 5.Know what you want with needle point precision, and go for it.

When you take your five year old son or daughter to a toy shop and ask what they want, I am certain that they will look around for hours unable to decide what to ask for. This type of behavior is acceptable for a child. However, as an adult you need to be more responsible and be precise of what you want in life.

Do not want anything simply because your neighbor has it or because it is the current trend in society. Hence, the old adage “Do not try to keep up with the Jones’s.” You should want something only if you need it. In other words, if you genuinely feel that your life would be better with it than being without it.

When you feel that you need something new always ask yourself these two questions. Let us take a simple example below.

Do I really need this for myself?

Example Do I really want another shirt? Don’t I have enough at the moment ?. Can I justify buying myself a new shirt when I have so many at the moment and when the amount that I am spending can be  utilized  to  buy a more useful household item?

However, if you can justify that you need a new shirt, the next question should be.

What is the best option I have, to purchase this item?

ExampleDo I have to purchase this shirt immediately? Cannot I wait until Christmas when they have sales so that I can buy the same thing at a reduced cost?

If you adopt the above method, you will never regret in retrospect.

Given above are the five basic cardinal rules for HAPPINESS. In fact, they are the pre-requisites. No matter even if you possess all the riches in the world, you will never attain lasting/stable happiness unless and until you abide by the rules above.

 

In my future articles, I will elaborate more on further insights to STABLE HAPPINESS. The universally sought  after emotion by every living being.

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